Hey guys I’m Jordan! Before I jump into things and what I’m going through, I would like to introduce my self. I’m 16 years old and a sophomore in high school. I play golf on my school’s golf team and like watching sports; mostly the Texas Rangers.Most of all I enjoy hanging out with my really close friends about every weekend.
Well, lets jump into the thick of things. I’ve had acne since 8th grade, so about 2-3 years. About a year ago, half way into my freshmen year, my acne started to get really bad. Around this time I encountered my first cystic “nodules” (or whatever you call it) and they ate me alive! I would, and still get, huge ones around the bridge of my nose that would swell up and sometimes the swelling would push up into my eye and make my vision blurry and whatnot. After they died down, my vision was perfectly fine. I also developed pretty bad acne on my back and shoulders. The start of my sophomore year, I went to a dermatologist for the first time. He prescribed me a pill and a cream called Tazorac. These two products proceeded to make my acne and my face something that resembled a large tomato with moisturizer on top. My high school life was a living hell. My face would be red and my acne didn’t go away at all. On top of this all I was diagnosed with anxiety and mild depression at age 10ish. So my acne wasn’t helping my mental side and self-esteem at all.
Around this same time, I had just gotten cut from the baseball team; a sport I thought I was good at and enjoyed, not to mention I had been playing it for 8+ years. Also my best friend had started smoking, which was something I was adamant against doing. I broke it off with him and was pretty much on my own. I briefly thought about suicide (not considered it), and to be honest the idea of it scared the s**t out of me. I was at my lowest. That’s when I met my three best friends when I transferred to the golf team. Who knows what would have happened if I didn’t meet them. I’m not sure if I’d be here right now.
I think it’s funny, how our bodies can make us feel like we are less than. That little pimples can almost “ruin” your life. It’s life, the show goes on.
After those treacherous four months, I told my parents I was fed up and wanted to see a different dermatologist. So we headed to where I am now. During my first visit, the derm advised taking the pills two times a day, one in the morning and one at night, and prescribed a new gel to use in the morning on top of the Tazorac. She advised me to combat the redness by taking only using minuscule amounts of the Tazorac and once every 2 days. This helped but didn’t complete rid me of my acne. I would get the large cysts around my nose less, only one about every 2 weeks. But on my cheeks, smaller cysts wrecked me. I developed scars, that hopefully will fade after I’m acne free, but for now pock mark my face with a vengeance.
During this time, I found I really liked this girl on the golf team. (About to stray off task for a sec ..) We share the same taste in music, she makes me laugh, and we, in general just have a good time. However, I am for sure she does not even think about us as a step past friendship. I think I’m decent looking and I was hoping my sense of humor and general niceness would help bridge the gap. It doesn’t. I’m sure it’s hard to take me seriously as a potential boyfriend when my face looks like its been shot up recently by an airsoft rifle. This brings me to where I am. I’m doing this so I stand a chance with her, and the female gender in general . And it would be nice to boost my self-esteem .
So about two weeks ago, I went back to my dermatologist where I told her, after watching numerous accutane miracle videos on youtube, that I wanted to go on accutane to get rid of this plague. However it was complicated. Because of my mild depression and anxiety, I am at an increased risk of severe depression. Also golf practice is almost and everyday thing for me, so I have to battle extreme Texas heat and sun in all my tournaments. Keep in mind golf tournaments can go up to 5 hours of straight golfing in the sun. So my derm told me that long sleeves, pants, and a large hat, are essentials. In 100+ degree weather. Awesome. Despite all this, I still want to be acne free. I don’t care if it kills me, I want to be acne free! (I actually do care if it kills me).
So here we are, April 27th, 2012. Day 1 of supposed hell.
Lets get this over with.
I’ll keep you guys updated on my accutane journey. Any support is AMAZING.
I know I can get through this. I know I will,
Tags: Month 1 Week 1 Day 1