Well, 13 weeks in and as dramatic as it sounds I am ready to draw out my savings, get a plane ticket to somewhere remote and hide out there until I feel normal again.
No seriously, it isn’t all that bad. The amount I used to moan/cry about my skin before going on the roaccutane treatment I should be happy. The only physical effects I have noticed throughout has been dry lips and also a sore and occasionally bloody nose. But aside from that my skin is almost perfectly clear, the only thing noticeable when I’m not wearing make up is a few slight scars and an uneven skintone in places which is such an amazing relief after suffering with such painful acne.
So why am I not happy? I’m blaming it on the treatment. I’ve lost quite a bit of weight due to loss of appetite and am still taking 60mg which 13 weeks in seems to be taking an effect on my mental state. I find myself picking away at my insecurities when I have too much time on my own, I’m convinced my boyfriend is getting bored of me, he doesn’t hug me one time and for the rest of the day I beat myself up thinking “how have I let my insecurities ruin my relationship”, a lot of the time I feel ugly and I feel like my family feel sorry for me because I have quite clearly gone insane.
These extreme feelings won’t happen to most, admittedly I’m not the most secure person but it seems these tablets find your weakest points and exercise them constantly.
I’m back at the dermotologist this week and I’m hoping they tell me I’m nearly finished, unfortunately I have to see the nurse again who seems to take her time analysing my every pore and telling me I should wear sunglasses outside even in the winter months ( there’s not even a hint of sunshine where I live but I do have to humour the lady) but I’m hoping they bring down my doseage slightly so my body can maybe start to feel normal again.
So, I’ll let you know how I get on. If you’ve had any similar feelings to mine ( and I hope none of you haven’t!) please comment below and I’ll try and give you some tips as to how I’ve dealt with some of the side effects. Thanks! F x
Tags: Week 13