I’m coming to the end of week 24… and I have had enough. I have 20 tablets to go, and I’m thinking about stopping.
I’ve done 125mg/kg and I can’t see how hitting another 3mg will help. My face has been clear for ages, my back is not giving me any new spots, I have scars and some absolute horror show spots which are (touch wood) finally healing.
My rationale for stopping is this – I have a massive occasion this weekend, I was meant to finish before now and I long to attend and be some form of normal, which I havent been for the last 6 months. I want to wash my hair, I want to be able to move, eat, digest food normally. I want arms that dont look like a dinosaur because of psoriasis, I want to be able to stay awake past 11pm without feeling tired. I wan’t to stop saying the sentence ‘I’m nearly there’.
On Saturday I was so close to flushing my remaining pills. At the moment I’m thinking that I will stop on Wednesday, when I will have 14 left. Then I might either stop, just take 20mg every other day for a bit, I don’t know. Have a dermatologist appointment next Tuesday and she gave me the option to stop last time, there’s no way I’m having another prescription again.
I’m sort of convinced I may need another course anyway, but even if that happens, I’m going to have to do some serious weighing up of whether all this is worth it, or if I should just try a bit harder to accept that this is the way I look.
Tags: Week 24